A few months ago, I went to the opening night of a play at the La Jolla Playhouse ... and sat next to a man in plastic flip-flops. SRSLY? Apparently all he could muster that day was sliding off the couch and driving to the theatre, without an ounce of energy left to dress like an adult. I really hope he got home okay, because he must have been exhausted. If he was responsible, he took a cab home.
So today, I'm calling for what I call the "Mad Men Tax Incentive of 2011." (Cue patriotic march music.) Our government needs to immediately convene a panel to survey the current state of domestic fashion, rating each item of clothing on a scale of "snazziness." Then, when citizens purchase items that are above the eightieth percentile on the snazziness scale, they can deduct the entire purchase price from their taxable income next year. Dressing nice is a form of "social donation," you see -- for instance, your date doesn't have to avoid running into friends, for fear they'll notice your choice of footwear. That's a gift.
Let's face it, you feel better when you dress nice. Folks comment on it, attractive people take a second look at you, you walk taller and have a better attitude. I know 2010 was kinda crap, and seriously only rated a pair of baggy sweats for most of us. But if we're gonna turn it around in 2011, we gotta start somewhere. This is it -- write to your congressperson today and demand they support the Mad Men Tax Incentive of 2011. For America!
I'm Gabe Schuyler, and I approved this message.