Professional Communication for Tech People

I need a book that teaches tech people how to communicate in professional settings.  We know how to talk to each other, but when we're out in the wild we could use some help.  This book would provide multiple "zoom levels" of content, so for each subject I could read a thirty-second treatment, a five minute overview, or a thirty minute in-depth analysis.

Here are a few sample subjects:

• How to talk when a translator is mediating a language difference.
• How to be clearly heard, when talking on a conference room speakerphone.
• How to start a new wiki page on a technology, a process, or an unstructured subject.
• How to write Service Announcement emails that will actually be read by normals.
• How to write clear, memorable technical policies that apply to non-technical people.
• The art of the elegant tweet.  Corollary: the perfect-size blog post.
• Making a resume that matches on broad keyword searches .. without looking like it!
• Presenting super-confident slideshows even when you don't feel it.
• Building powerpoint presentations that don't suck.
• The basic "network diagram" and the basic "flow chart" visual conventions.
• Ninety-nine Star Wars & Princess Bride quotes everyone should know.

Can someone please write this?  KTHX  BAI